


We all live in a Pokemon world! (temporarily)

by Mazeem



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crossover, Gen, NaNoWriMo, and Bifrost, because Thor, from an avengerkink prompt, the Avengers go on holiday to the Pokemon world!, well an incomplete attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-14 02:02:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1248541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mazeem/pseuds/Mazeem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by this prompt: "So it turns out that the Pokemon world actually exists, and can be accessed by way of the Bifrost. This of course means that the Avengers take a vacation to become Pokemon Masters." </p>
<p>Or; Tony, Darcy and Clint fight for NUMBER ONE POKEMON FAN, Bruce pretends not to care THAT much, really, guys, we're middle-aged, and Steve and Natasha have a very steep learning curve ahead of them. And there's a BAMF Pikachu and a spoilt Eevee.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> POKEVENGERS!
> 
> So, I tried to do this as my Nano for 2013. Failed epically, only 16k, but having reread this I actually quite like most of it. Also, perhaps if other people like it I'll get motivation to finish it :D

Darcy shifted in her chair. It was a very comfy chair, as was only to be expected from anything in Stark Tower (she was inside Stark Tower, holy shit), but sitting in it for nearly two hours was still as boring as hell. Just as she was about to suggest to Jane that they try another round of Hangman, the large sliding doors they had sat in front of slid open. Finally. 

Thor stood in front of them, in full Asgardian regalia, staring at them like they were ghosts. Well, best not to pump herself up too much; she knew exactly who Thor was staring at. She'd have thought someone would have let him know, important meeting or no important meeting. 

It had been six months. Problem was, he'd said it would only be two.

Interdimensional relationships. Clearly more trouble than they were worth. 

The tension was getting way too thick for comfort. She could feel Jane trembling next to her. Distraction needed. Anything. Where was her taser? Shit, did Jane have her taser?

"Hey, big guy! How are you?" she said at last, all in a rush, with a smile that stretched her face too wide.

Thor's face went through a couple of complicated-looking expressions, but his reply came out sounding composed and content: "I am well, Darcy, and yourself?"  
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I'm great," she babbled in response. "Pretty much the same as when you ... ah, yeah ... all good, really, you know, life goes on, shit, uh ..." 

Smooth, Darce. Sometimes she wished she had several thousand years of training in courtly manners, too. It would make her life so much easier to trust what would happen when she opened her mouth. 

"It's ok, Darcy," Jane said. Wow, she sounded pissed. Darcy raised her eyebrows at her.

"No, but really? I would say would you like me to tase him for you, but it's not in my bag. You don't have it, do you?"

Jane opened her mouth then closed it again. Her cheeks turned pink. Darcy slapped her forehand with the heel of her hand.

"Great, great, that's definitely how you show him you're pissed, stun him! Unless, given that blush, you were planning on other things? Electro-stim? Can he not do that, with the hammer, though? On the other hand, that might fry you. Him. Whoever. I don't want to know. "

Jane's face was scarlet and she was giving Darcy that often-ignored look that read shut up. Well, no point in not following tradition:

"Ok, so, not electro-stim; I'm slightly scared that you do actually know what that is, by the way; probably not knocking him unconscious ... what, some sort of present, maybe? A warrior culture thing, all; 'I gift you with this weapon which knocked you out' and shit?"

"Darcy." Jane's face was like thunder. Ha, thunder. She turned to the thunder god in front of them, only to see with some trepidation that his face was lit up (like lightning! Bahaha, she was so good).

"If he asks what's electro-stim, that's your call, mkay?" she muttered urgently out of the corner of her mouth.

"I do have a gift for you, Jane!"

Darcy saw Jane's expression shift, and mentally wished herself a very long way away. Out of harm's reach. She winced as Jane stalked forwards until she was almost touching Thor. 

"You think all you have to do is give me a present and it'll all be better?" Her head was craned right back, but really, that was no obstacle. "You think it'll make up for the fact that yet again you're down here on Earth without so much as a message to let me know?"

Thor looked utterly bewildered. Darcy almost felt sorry for him. 

"This isn't third time's the charm, third time lucky, none of that! I am not going to put up with this happening again! Do you hear me?"

There was a loud crackle from hidden speakers somewhere in the ceiling. In flawless, technophilic Stark Tower, this was enough of a weird occurrence to momentarily stop Jane's tirade.

"Hey, guys. You ... might wanna ask to see the present he brought you." The male voice sounded excited. 

"Is that Tony Stark?" Darcy demanded of Thor. He nodded.

"Indeed. I have been deep in discussion with him and many of the others I fought alongside against the Chitauri."

"Tony Stark just spoke to me." Darcy's face-hurting grin was real, this time. As far as celebrity personalities went, Tony was pretty damn near the top. "This is my life. How is this my life?" She stared up at the ceiling, half-searching for the speakers, half searching for cameras. There must be a camera, right? Which meant Tony could see her. Oh my god.

"Oh my god."

It took Darcy a second or two to realise that her thoughts didn't suddenly have an echo; Jane had just spoken. And staggered a step backwards, a hand clapped to her mouth. 

Ok, interest piqued. 

"Ooh, what is it? Is it, like an Asgardian sex toy? Urgh, is it a severed head?" She tried to see, but Thor, obviously worried by Jane's reaction, was holding his cloak over whatever it was and frowning at them. 

"Show her." Jane's voice was strangled and high-pitched. 

"Very well." Thor drew his cloak back. 

Darcey's jaw dropped. As in literally she lost muscle control over her face from the sheer shock.

There was a small animal snuggled in the crook of his arm.

It was small.

Fluffy.

Vaguely mouse-like.

Yellow, with black patches.

Lightning bolt-shaped tail.

Red cheeks.

It was ... in short ... 

Only when Darcy opened her mouth to shriek did she realise that she hadn't used her lungs in a good twenty seconds. She sucked in air like she'd just run a mile, which gave her the necessary time to achieve something vaguely resembling coherence.

"P-pikachu!" she stammered.

The rodent's ears twitched and it looked in Darcy's direction. 

Now, Darcy'd seen many fake Pikas in her time. People who'd dyed their pet rodent yellow and painted on the markings; people who'd done clever things with Photoshop and puppets, weird people who'd dyed their kittens instead. One thing always broke her suspension of belief. It wasn't the bright yellow coat, or even the perfect red circles; what made the fakes look truly fake was the tail. 

This Pikachu had a real tail. Real yellow. Real red. She wasn't sure how she could tell, but she just ... could. 

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god." She expended all of her hard-won air in the frantic whispering, and felt something suspiciously like hysterics swelling up inside her. 

"Put it away, Thor," Jane said. How did she sound so calm? The only words Darcy could remember right now were curses.

Thor's cloak swished over the rodent. Now that she was no longer looking at it, Darcy was able to regain her sanity. 

"That's a Pikachu." Ok, maybe not that much sanity. "That ... is ... a Pikachu. Right?" She looked wildly at Jane.

"Looks like it." Jane had that look on her face again, the one that she got whenever she remembered that her gorgeous, charming, exotic boyfriend neatly dovetailed with her lifelong obsession with other worlds. 

Darcy's brain wasn't working on that sort of high level. Darcy's brain was firmly stuck on the fact that Pokemon, the game which had pretty much defined her free time from the age of seven to ... well, this morning, when she'd beaten the Kalos Elite Four after twenty four hours of gameplay, was A REAL THING. 

Or, to be cautious, maybe it was just Pikachu? Maybe that's why Pikachu was the franchise mascot; there was like an entire world full of Pikachu and the idea sort of bled through?

An entire world of Pikachu. 

She quivered, and mumbled to Jane, "I think my brain's leaking."

Jane patted her arm absentmindedly. Oh no, she'd disappeared. There would be science babble any second now. How much charge did Darcy's iPod have, again?

"Can I touch it?" Darcy asked Thor. He looked surprised, but pleased. 

"Of course you may! I brought it here as a pet for you." He looked at Jane while he said that, but Darcy chose to imagine it was aimed at her. 

Like some sort of Pavlovian response; seeing the Pikachu made her throat close up and her heart start thudding. Calm, Darce, calm. Her family'd had lots of cats when she was a kid; she knew how to let an animal get to know you.

"Hi there, girlie." Huh, apparently babytalk was instinctive even when confronted with cute things from another world. She reached out and let it sniff her thoroughly, and then ever so slowly, ever so carefully, stroked the top of its head with the tip of her index finger. It blinked at her. 

"How do you know that it is a female?" Thor inquired. 

"The tail," she replied, on autpilot, locked into some sort of blissful staring match. "It's got a notch at the top."

"So it does." He sounded surprised. 

"Let me see!" Jane pressed right up against Darcy and reached for the Pikachu. It was immediately apparent that for all Jane's enthusiasm, she had never had a wary pet. No sniffing, no slowness. Hundreds of anime scenes ran through Darcy's head in a split second and she yanked her hand away like ...

"Pikachuuuu!"

Well, like she was avoiding a shock. 

Jane's cry of pain had scared the Pikachu; it turned and burrowed its head into Thor's elbow. Darcy melted at the cuteness. 

"Aw, you know it didn't mean it, Jane! You just scared it a bit. Did Ash teach you nothing?" She grinned at Jane until she reluctantly grinned back around the two fingers in her mouth.

"How do you know such things, Darcy?" Thor petted the Pikachu. His strokes were heavy and rough, but the Pikachu seemed quite content to stay where it was. "Have you seen one of these creatures before? Stark and the others were most insistent that these were not creatures of your world."

"Um." And there went Darcy's brain again. Ground straight to a halt. Where the flying fuck should she start? Anime? TV? Video games? Did Thor even know what a TV was? 

"They aren't." Jane finally took her fingers out of her mouth and held them curled awkardly into her palm. "There are thousands of stories about them, though. We didn't ... think they were real."

"Ah." Thor beamed. "This explains much of your people's reactions." He took Jane's hand and gently kissed the electrocuted fingers. 

Darcy turned away. Ew. Those fingers had spit all over them. Outside of kissing, spit was not a nice thing. 

Thanks to averting her eyes, she saw a tall, scary-looking guy with an eyepatch come out of what looked like a section of wall. This place was so cool.

"Who're you?" she demanded. He raised his eyebrows at her. She raised hers right back. 

"That's classified, Miss Lewis."

"What? How do you - "

"As is everything you've just seen. Sign here, please."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony keeps a secret! For about 5 minutes. Also Pepper and Natasha have an odd relationship, and Pepper prefers the Sims.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everybody for your kudos! I have another 4 or 5 chapters of this pre-written, so I'll keeping posting for now and see what you think :)

"I hate signing NDAs too," Tony declared as he watched Darcy start yelling at Fury.

"They're necessary," Natasha said with a sigh.

"No, Agent Spider, you're just jealous because you've spent the entirity of your time at SHIELD wanting to yell at Fury."

"I've yelled at Fury several times. It tends not to help."

"Really? It usually works for me." The sudden sound of Pepper's voice made Tony twitch. When had she arrived in the room? Or, fuck that, when had she arrived in the  building? Last time he'd checked she was in Washington at a conference.

He hadn't seen her in three days and he _would_ turn around and, you know, greet her properly, but the situation unfolding on camera was just too much fun not to watch.

"Tony, I've got the files you wanted. Tony!"

"In a minute, Pep, look at this!" He checked the camera was fixed solely on Darcy, not on Thor or Jane, and then pointed at the screen. "This is great. JARVIS, gimme audio?" Darcy's outrage filled the spacious meeting room. 

Screw what he'd said to Natasha; Tony was fully appreciating seeing somebody give Fury a good telling off while it lasted.

"Why does she keep mentioning her iPod?" Pepper asked. Natasha shrugged.

Tony scoffed. "Why would anybody mention an iPod? She can beta-test the StarkPod; that'll teach her."

"Tony, I told you to stop calling it the StarkPod. One day you'll call it that to the press."

He rolled his eyes and, without looking, reached out and flapped his hand roughly where he thought her shoulder was. He caught her in the ribs with the very tips of his fingers, and she flinched away with that special little noise that meant he'd found another ticklish spot. He grinned to himself.

Onscreen, Darcy poked Fury in the chest.

"I like her. Reckon she'd like some work experience?" He felt Pepper's hand land on his head and relaxed back into it.

"You'd take Doctor Foster's sole assisstant away from her?" Natasha asked. Tony winced, because _damn_ the woman for hitting every nail square on the head. He'd never thought of that, and she knew he hadn't. He'd never really wanted for resources, be they people or materials.

Pepper stroked his hair backwards, and asked, "Has Doctor Foster applied for much  funding?"

"She's tried." Natasha replied. "You know what she studies, right? From what I've heard she's had a lot more luck since Thor popped in and revealed she'd been right all along, but it's not great still."

Tony pulled up the relevant info and flicked it across to Pepper. She made a noise that he knew very well as her "getting shit done" tone, then left the room at a fast clip.

"You didn't tell her the big news," Natasha said, her tone half a question and half an accusation.

He widened the camera view again. The argument onscreen had cooled; Jane was carefully reading the document Fury was holding out to her and Darcy was scowling at Fury from a distance while tickling the ... the Pikachu.

That big news.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I told you I hated signing NDAs."

"Ok, you've successfully surprised me."

He turned and raised his eyebrows at Natasha. She smiled back at him, a mischevious expression that on anybody else would have been flirtatious. It might even have been intended as flirtatious on her, but he doubted it. He wasn't her mark any more, and she knew all about his relationship with Pepper.

(Pepper didn't like her.)

"I surprised you, Shelob?" he answered, holding her gaze and gifting her a tiny smirk.

"I'm surprised you read your NDA that thoroughly."

"Yeah, well." He shrugged. "I did learn how to read, you know, somewhere along the way." Her answering smile grew an extra dimple and one insiscor peeked over her lip. Now, _that_ one looks real, Tony thought.

"I'm also really surprised Pepper wasn't automatically included in." And the smile disappeared, replaced by a frown. "The report I gave made it clear that to tell you something was equivalent to telling Pepper."

Old hurt flared sharp in his chest, and he snapped back, "Maybe people higher up than you have realised that report was a load of shit."

Her eyes narrowed. "There aren't too many people higher up than me."

"Obviously enough." He gave her a huge, hard grin. "So I have your high-up SHIELD sanctioned ok to tell Pepper, then?"

He expected her to completely ignore him. He did _not_ expect her to look him straight in the eye and say,

"Exactly."

"Well." He blew air out through loosely pursed lips. "Ok, then. What about Rhodey?"

"Don't push your luck."

"And if Fury pitches a fit?"

"Don't you dare tell me the thought of that bothers you." Her face was straight now, but amusement glimmered in her eyes. He grinned back.

"Hey, it's on your head, too."

She shrugged. "I've bent harder rules when the situation called for it."

"Strange; I thought you were a die-hard SHIELD lackey," Pepper said from the doorway. "What do you need to tell me, Tony?" She looked tense. Not a new look on her, but not one Tony'd ever liked. He opened his mouth to try and smooth things over - and tell her! - but Natasha got there first. Unfortunately.

"You shouldn't have been listening."

Pepper's entire body twitched forwards. She took in a slow, deep breath and let it out again. "There are so many things you shouldn't've have done, Natalie."

Natalie? Tony frowned. Why in the world would Pepper use Natasha's old alias? He'd made quite certain that she knew all about the lying neck-stabbery. An insult? A power play? A reminder of something?

Natasha made a languid gesture of acknowledgement with one hand. "More than you'll ever know." She stood and smoothed down her skirt. "Miss Potts." She bobbed her head in Pepper's direction. The transformation was astounding. The fact that she was dressed in a suit rather than her SHIELD uniform made the illusion easier on the eyes, but her entire way of holding herself had shifted.

Pepper nodded in returrn. When Natasha-Natalie had left, presumably to go and join Fury, Pepper turned to him.

"Well?"

He held his hands out placatingly. "Pep. Baby. It's not a bad thing."

She cocked her head. Her expression was utterly disbelieving. "A good thing? With SHIELD involved?"

"Well, it could be good. Some people might view it as good. I think it's ... momentous, and the girl we were talking about earlier - that funding issue sorted, yeah? - thinks her life might as well end now. What was the phrase?"

"'This is like all the Christmases and birthdays in the world, wrapped up in the _biggest nerdgasm ever._ like, seriously, dude, I'm dripping it all over your badass coat.' was about the size of it, right?" Pepper's expression was softer now. That was good.

"You speaking like that is really weird," Tony muttered. "But, yeah. And Miss Incey-Wincy secretary-spy just gave me official permission to tell you what all the fuss is about."

"You'd have told me without official permission." Pepper's tone was fond but certain. Tony huffed out a breath and protested,

"Hey, I can keep secrets from you!" And then his brain caught up with his mouth and he cringed, because, oh yeah, him keeping secrets from Pepper was a Thing, a Bad, Bad Thing because it meant he was injured, dying or anywhere in between.

"You can." She was regarding him warily now; their minds had gone to the same place. 

"I'm fine!" He almost shouted it. "Just ... fuck it. I know playing the Sims is more your thing - "

"Great micromangement practise," Pepper mumbled under her breath.

" - but you should look at this. Really. Then, you know, you'll probably have to sign an NDA too, but that's ok ..." As he spoke he was running the camera footage back at half-speed, looking for a decent shot. There; that would work. "JARVIS, zoom and magnify."

"May I remind you, sir, that this is not a police television show and that your redundant command of 'zooming and magnifying' the current screenshot will merely obscure the details?"

"Details are important here, ok, yeah. Details are key. Also, how have I not come up with the perfect movie-like zooming thing yet? Put it on the list." JARVIS was right, as usual. So the camera was out; quickly he found the photos that he had taken when Thor had first appeared. "Look, Pep." He pushed the hologram into her hands, and was silently proud when she caught it without a hitch.

She looked.

Then she saw.

The cogs in the brain started to turn, he could read it in her body language.

"It's real," he told her helpfully. Her head snapped up from the screen.

"It's a Pikachu."

"Yup."

"A Pokemon."

"Yup."

"And it's ... real? It's alive?"

"It shocked Jane when she tried to touch it." He threw her the recording of that. She watched the five second clip in silence.

"Tony ..." She shook her head slowly. "This is ..." She swallowed, then shook her head again.

"I know." Tony kicked his chair into a spin, just for something to do with his renewed excitement. A loud knock startled them both. The hologram fell out of Pepper's hands and hit the floor where it disintergrated into a cloud of pixels.

Tiny cheered inwardly; he'd only programmed that yesterday and hadn't tested it yet. It promised to make binning first drafts much more fun.

"Miss Potts, Director Fury is requesting entrance. Is this a suitable time?"

Tony snuck a look at Pepper, but her expression was blank and hard and left him clueless. Personally, he found Natasha's polite servility incredibly creepy, now that he'd seen her face the Hulk and kill countless Chitauri.

"Yes, thank you, Natalie. Please show him in."

And, ok, this weird game they were playing was carrying on? Fine. He'd just pretend nothing was out of the ordinary.

From the long look Fury gave Pepper when he entered, he was thinking the same. Though he could have been wondering whether Tony had told Pepper, and if so what Pepper was going to do - or, hell, maybe he just stared at everybody he met. It seemed like a suitably paranoid trait. Jane and Darcy trailed in behind him, while 'Natalie' and Thor had one of those brief 'no, after you, I insist!' fights. She won, of course. Then she took up a position next to the door, and Tony couldn't help but wonder whether the secretary or the spy had made that decision.

"Director Fury, how may we help you?" Pepper asked. Fury stared at her some more, then wandered to the front of the room, hands clasped behind his back.

"Well for a start, Miss Potts, you can be pleased it's a Sunday. Are the majority of your staff at home?"

She nodded. "Other than maintenance, and one or two of the more Tony-like R&D team."

"Well, those guys won't be going home tonight. The tower is under quarantine for the time being."

Pepper stiffened. Her stare turned from inquisitive into demanding. Tony started flicking through camera footage as quickly as he could, slipping in an earbud so that JARVIS could pipe him audio.

"I'll need something a little more concrete than 'for the time being'," Pepper told Fury. He shrugged.

"Say three to five days, provisionally. We need to examine the ..." something in his expression slipped, but not so far that Tony could see what was underneath, "the Pikachu to try and ensure it won't spread any horrific diseases."

"How are we defining horrific, here?" Tony asked. "Boils? Drowning in fluid?" Everyone ignored him, but that was fine. He caught Darcy's eyes and flashed her a smile. She blinked and then turned bright red.

She had, however, taken two very large steps away from the Pikachu, so he wasn't surprised when she demanded;

"Is it _likely_ to have a horrific disease?"

"Thor says not." Both Tony and Fury spoke in unison. Fury glared at Tony, who smiled and batted the relevant screen up high.

"OK, Stark, ok. No, Thor doesn't think we or any of Earth's fauna and flora are in any danger from ... from transdimensional diseases."

"And he's pretty much the resident expert on transdimensional travel, right?" Tony prompted. Fury seemed to swell up. Jane twitched as well.  Oops, he hadn't remembered in time that he was sitting in the same room as the world's foremost expert in this field. Still, Thor was undeniably the expert.

"No, Tony, ssh, I get it. It's definitely something that needs consideration." Pepper's reassurance seemed to do the job; Fury looked less like he wanted to throttle Tony. Pity. The man was fun to try and wind up.

"To return to my point; the tower is under quarantine for at least the next three days. SHIELD personnel can enter, but nobody is to leave until they've been throughly checked over. If that takes longer than three days, then so be it."

Tony cleared all his various holograms with an exagerrated sweep of his hand. "Anyone would think you'd missed me, Nicky."

Fury snorted.

"Anyway, you guys can have lab 4.37 to play doctor in - that's free, isn't it?"

Pepper nodded. A smile flickered across her face. Tony was hiding his with all his might. Then a thought ocurred to him, and he saw Pepper's head begin to turn along with his and knew it had ocurred to her too. They both glanced at Natasha, who returned their gazes with the utmost in bland professionalism.

"Will that be all, Miss Potts?"

She nodded. More, Tony thought, out of reflex than true acknowledgement.

"I'll escort the Director to his working quarters, then?" And just there, that glimmer of amusement he'd spotted earlier. As he kept watching, that one inscior poked out for a split second.

Pepper had seen it too. "Please do," she hesitated for long enough that Tony couldn't stop himself grinning, "Please do, Agent Romanov."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All opinions welcome, including ideas: if you want a certain Avenger to get a certain Pokemon, Kanto-only for now, then please do ask, it might inspire me :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Steve find out. Clint tears his hair out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, I'm very pleased that this is getting some interest! Have another pre-written chapter :D

Clint was mid-spar with Steve when his phone rang in his bag. It was the Natasha ringtone. She was out on a job of some sort; she never called him when she was working. Said it fucked with her headspace. So the sound made him do a triple-take, and then an aborted step towards the phone, by which point Steve had picked him up, spun him upside down and dropped him on his back.

He stared at the ceiling for a second, until Steve's face eclipsed that view.

"You ok?"

"Yeah." He waved away the offered hand and got to his feet. "You're improving. Last month you'd have waited for me to start paying attention again."

Steve grinned, but asked, "Do you want to get that?" He tilted his head towards where the phone had just stopped ringing. Clint shrugged.

"If she rings back or texts within the next thirty seconds, it's urgent. If not, I'll get it when we're done here. If it was life-or-death urgent, she knows a couple of other ways of getting hold of me that she'd try first."

"Oh, right, Tasha." Steve nodded then smirked. "Should've known. Never seen you lose your focus before."

Clint rolled his eyes and threw one of his sweaty wristbands over Steve's mouth. Nobody ever believed that he and Tasha didn't have a thing going on.

On that note, it was still pretty weird to hear Steve refer to Tasha by the nickname. She was Romanov to most of SHIELD, Widow to her admirers, and only Tasha, really, to himself and Coulson. Sometimes Fury.

But apparently they had got along during the Battle of New York (The fact that Steve had thought of that sort of thing while defending his city, country and world from invading aliens either meant that his processing capabuilities were way higher than he let on, or that Clint was going to need to do the shovel talk soon. Possibly both of the above) and Clint's constant referral to her as Tasha had clearly rubbed off. He had made a point of hanging around with Steve a lot recently, since he'd realised how bad at hand-to-hand the guy actually was.

Some perspective on that; Clint felt fairly confident in asserting that there wasn't a human alive who could take Steve down in a straight-out brawl, since he was so much faster and stronger than anyone else. To Clint, going properly toe-to-toe with him felt, and according to Natasha also looked, rather like being seven again and flailing wildly against his fifteen year-old brother. The much bigger guy who could take any hit you threw at him, even to the balls, then pin you against the wall and laugh at you.

But Steve's strategy was pretty much hit first, then keep hitting until the guy went down. He telegraphed his movements to a frankly ridiculous extent, and didn't know how to read his opponent's body language. So while Clint couldn't take him out directly, he could fake a fall then catch him in the back of the knees; he could misdirect with a fake punch to the gut then go for a throat jab ... yeah, Clint was proud to say that Steve had spent more time down than up at the beginning of their sessions. Especially before he'd trained Steve out of being gentlemanly.

"But why can't I help you up?" Steve had complained once, flexing his fingers and waiting for the feeling to return.

"We're not fighting fair here."

"But obviously I wouldn't do it in an actual fight! We're just practising here!"

Clint had shrugged. "What if you end up having to fight me?" The look in Steve's eyes looked horribly like pity. Clint fought the urge to tell him to fuck off. "Anyone you fight without the intention to disable, permanently or otherwise, knows that within a few moves, and will take advantage of that with every single opening you give them. If nothing else, it's a bad habit to get into."

"OK, sir," Steve had joked.

Clint shook himself out of the memory. "You took advantage of me losing focus when you saw it, though, good stuff." He raised his hand and Steve slapped him a high-five.

His phone beeped.

Clint actually felt Steve's body snap to full alertness through the contact of their palms. His own adrenalin shutters had only whisked halfway down; it was weird, yes, almost unprecendented, but ... he didn't know. It just didn't feel like something was wrong.

Still, he went and got the phone.

He could tell he'd had a good session; he had to wrap his hands in his T-shirt because they wouldn't stop sweating for long enough to hold the phone without smearing.

(He liked clean, shiny technology, ok?)

_You'll want to know about this_ , Natasha had texted him.

"Huh."

"Anything interesting?" Steve called. There was an odd note in his voice. Clint glanced at him; yes, the little bastard was smirking at him. (He was definitely allowed to call Steve that; he was almost a decade older than him. Well, depending on your definition. Trust fucking SHIELD to redefine the concept of age.)

"This is not a sext, Steve. I think we need to revoke your internet privileges." He paused for a moment and tried to wrap his mind around the concept of Tasha sexting. His mind shied away from the task. "Though I like your optimism."

Steve grinned and flipped his towel over his head to rub the sweat from his face. "Does she use textspeak?" His voice was muffled, so for a sweet second Clint could convince himself he'd heard that wrong.

"Do you?"

"I'm learning. It's fun."

"Oh, god." Clint grabbed his own towel and soaked up the the worst of his sweat. A glorious thought hit him and he gabbled it out; "You communicate with Fury, right? Like, more than the rest of us mere mortals?"

Steve's grin was wicked. "I like your thinking, Hawkeye."

"Any time, Cap."

Simultaneously they flicked each other mocking little salutes, then laughed. It wasn't an unusual thing; half of SHIELD had military backgrounds, but it was a nice little reminder that the supersoldier was more than he seemed. Most agents with military experience as recent as Steve's (fucking timelines just needed to go and die) took the whole respect-acknowledgement issue more seriously.

(It was also hilarious to see nervous newbies leap to their feet and hold a perfect salute for Natasha or May. Having it done to him made his neck itch; he had been a lower rank than most of them. Ass-kissing; never his thing.)

"So, do you wanna head to my room and we can check out what this is?" He waved the phone in Steve's direction. Steve looked uncertain.

"You sure? What if it's something ... " He trailed off with a pained expression.

Clint threw his towel at Steve. It hit him nicely across the face. "Mind out of the fucking gutter, Rogers."

"I wasn't thinking sexting this time!" Steve protested, laughing as he lobbed the wadded-up towel back at Clint. "I was thinking more like, what if it's a secret? Something that you're probably not supposed to know, and I definitely won't be?"

Clint pointed the phone at him. "You're employed by SHIELD, though, and I'd love to see them denying you shit."

"Being a national icon has its perks." Steve put on an over the top decorous expression, and Clint laughed. "No, but seriously, you should ask her."

"Fair point."

They made it to Clint's room in an unusually fast time.

"I think it's you, dude. It's like the parting of the Red Sea."

"Except with camera phones and requests for autographs." Steve's laugh sounded sort of forced.

"Yeah; I was impressed you ignored them. Some of Tasha's and my rudeness rubbing off on you?" Clint held the door open for Steve.

"Nah, that one was a repeat offender. Lots of repeats." Steve took the weight of the door on two fingers and waved Clint through.

Clint made a mental note to tell the PR team to check eBay. The last thing they needed was people to get the impression that Steve was selling autographs.

He sat down on his narrow bed and flapped a hand in the direction of his one chair until Steve headed in that direction. "What are you worried about, the fact you stink? I smell worse, so it's all good." He flicked the phone onto loudspeaker and dialed Tasha's number.

"Hey," she answered. At the sound of her voice, all of Clint's low-grade anxiety drained out of him. She sounded relaxed. Amused, even. Like he'd already pointed out, her ringing him during an assignment was unprecedented and really weird, and it was a hell of a relief to discover that there wasn't a negative reason for it.

"Hey yourself. So what's up?"

"The sky."

"I really wish I'd never taught you that."

"You taught me all the useless shit I know, Barton."

"I am the king of useless shit," Clint agreed. They bickered for a few more turns each, before Clint gave up trying to catch anything useful in her tone of voice. "So, I repeat, what's up?"

Steve coughed.

OK, Clint might have momentarily forgotten he was in the room.

"Oh, and Steve wonders if he has clearance for whatever this is."

"Nope. But neither do you." She responded immediately, with no hint of surprise at Steve's inclusion. She had to be surprised, because all Clint had ever done was mention he was sparring with Steve from time to time. Crazy controlled woman.

He raised his eyebrows at Steve. "That do you, Stevie-boy?" Just as Steve opened his mouth to reply, a mischievous idea hit Clint: "Oh, and Steve also wonders if you and I sext."

"Clint!" Steve's face flashed-fried crimson from throat to ears.

Clint ignored him, and listened to the silence on the other end of the phone with glee. Yes! That had done it nicely. "Tashaaaa, did I break you, sweetie-pie?" He cracked up laughing on the last syllable.

"You're dead, Clint." Her tone of voice was flat, but fuck that shit, he'd heard that hilarious choked off gasp-snort she only made when something had completely wrongfooted her.

"I'll help," Steve offered. His face was still blotchy.

Clint could think of about twenty different ways to embarrass Steve further, several of which might also shock Tasha, but that was, of course, not the point of his phone call. He waited for Steve's colour to return to normal before he asked for more information, and heard Tasha clattering around at the other end of the line. Sounded like ... a toilet seat?

Steve caught his gaze, and oh, he'd noticed it too, because all that red had come back again in full force.

This wasn't exactly unprecedented. They talked while dressing, bathing, and yes, occasionally on the toilet. He'd once had to take directions from Tasha over the comm when some ancient crimelord dickwad had thought it would be hilarious to slip his pretty new carer a few of his super-strength laxatives.

Still. That was him, and the weird way they'd grown used to operating. For her to make such an obvious sound when she knew Steve was listening?

"I know you're female, but isn't this taking multi-tasking a little far?" he asked, cautiously. Steve made a hilarious little whimpering sound in the back of his throat and stared fixedly at the grubby carpet.

"Don't be disgusting, you douchebag. The restrooms are the only places in this damn tower without surveillance."

Ah, that. The reason for this phonecall.

"So, if neither of us have clearance, why are you telling us?"

"Playing devil to Stark's angel."

Clint heard Steve mutter, "Oh, _that_ tower."

"You just called Stark an angel; I think we need that on record," he replied, on autopilot. "What, you mean Stark kept something a secret?"

"He didn't tell Pepper."

Clint whistled. He didn't know Pepper very well, but Natasha had described her as "the sensible part of Stark's brain" and in various other terms that indicated serious levels of closeness and dependence.

"Spill it," he demanded.

"Pokemon are real."

Clint's brain ground to a halt. A strangled sound escaped his mouth. For some insane reason, he believed her instantly. All the same;

“Nat, are you fucking with me?”

"Thor brought Jane a Pikachu as an apology present."

That ... was too weirdly plausible. "Uh?"

"That seems to be the overwhelming reaction," she agreed. Clint met Steve's confused eyes and lamented his choice of friends.

"You don't even get why this is a big thing, do you?" he asked them both. Steve shook his head.

"I understand!" Natasha sounded so offended that he bit back a derisive reply. "I've spent the past seven hours getting to grips with the material!"

"The material. Ugh. Which gen, which version?"

"Bulbapedia and serebii.com have been very useful, and there were some 'guides' on amazon ..." She trailed off uncertainly.

"Fucking hell on a hatstand. Nat; go get Stark. He's got to have a ROM of _something_. Hands on education! Primary sources first, what the fuck did they teach you in spy school?" He waited for her to reply, begrudgingly, sounding confused still, in the affirmative, before he ended the call. "That goes for you, too!" He pointed at Steve.

"I have absolutely no clue what you two were talking about," Steve said. He had tensed up.

"Relax, dude. No danger. Well, probably not. Unless Thor decides to bring along Darkrai next time, then we're all fucked." Clint twisted around and started rummaging through his chest of drawers. He hadn't touched it in about four years; where was it?

There; back of the third drawer behind - oh, hey, thats where those porn mags had gone! He owed Tasha an apology. He took out the bulky blue Nintendo DS and checked its cartridge. Perfect. He tossed it to Steve.

"That's Pokemon Heartgold." Steve's face went slack with the beginnings of realisation. Clint grinned. "Yeah. Video game. Some people would probably maim me for not starting you on, like, Japanese Green or some shit, but this is better-looking and has all the original areas ... and I'm just talking to myself, aren't I?" Clint shook his head. "Pokemon are real and my two confidants are an ex-Russian spy with no childhood and a man from the 1930s. Fuck my life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meh, Steve's a bit precious in this. I like to think it's my Steve/Tasha thing showing through rather than purity!Steve, which annoys me. This will improve when I write new stuff, promise.
> 
> Many thanks to people who have commented with Pokemon ideas - some of them were inspiring! Please keep them coming, or plot ideas ... anything you'd like to see :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha realises that Pikachu is an animal, and bins her guides and Clint's games in favour of treating it as such. Also Darcy gets overexcited again, and Thor gets tetchy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, no comments for the last chapter. Never mind, I'll give you lot this one anyway XD

Natasha hated being embarrassed. It didn't happen to her very often, since most everyday embarrassment was due to bodily functions and parts, and she had no shame regarding any of that. Her most potent source of embarrassment (humiliation, shame) was standing in front of a superior and telling them that she needed help to complete her assigned task.

As a result, she was relying on every single bit of biofeedback trickery she knew to stop her face from turning scarlet as she stood in front of Fury and told him she was going to find Stark.

If the slight smirk on Fury's face was anything to go by, his one eye could see right through her. It was fair enough; only Clint and Coulson knew her better, but still, she really wished she was somewhere else right now. Like not in this building, dealing with this insane situation that she was probably the _least_ qualified person in the vicinity to understand.

"Have you met the Pikachu yet?" Fury asked her. She frowned at the apparent nonsequetir.

"I've seen it," she answered, guessing even as she spoke that that wasn't quite what he meant.

"You should go and introduce yourself to it." He was definitely openly smirking at her now.

"Sir. What about the infection risk?"

He shrugged. "Wear gloves and don't let it bite you. In fact, wear gloves anyway. That Darcy girl is the only female who's been able to touch it without getting shocked. The techies have started calling her the Pokemon Whisperer."

Well, there was nothing like lighting a fire under Natasha's competitive edge to drive uncertainty from her mind for now. Damn the manipulative bastard. With a final, "Yes, sir," she turned away and input the code to enter lab 4.37. The code was 093098, and she was proud to say that she had found out why that was an amusing in-joke. Several of the techies had done a double take and sniggered at it after they'd seen the Pikachu.

Lab 4.37 had been the Tower joke when she had gone undercover here years ago, and from Stark and Pepper's reaction, it still was. It was technically for dealing with biohazards, but it was dark, cramped and incomplete. There was loose wiring hanging from the ceilings and exposed brickwork in one corner (Natasha had a strong suspicion that the bricks were cosmetic only; the rest of the Tower was largely concrete and metal). She had expected Fury to spend at least twenty minutes raging while ordering their relocation and seven different ways to make Stark's life more difficult. Everyone had expected something similar - the shock when they had walked into the laboratory had very quickly changed to a kind of terrified tension.

To everyone's shock, including hers, the Director had done none of that. He'd stood and stared into the room for a little while in dead silence, then shrugged and ordered the room at large to, "Make the best of it."

That was probably good advice, Natasha mused, as she went through the decontamination process. She should make the best of things. So what if she was unfamiliar with the minutiae of the situation? She'd coped with assignments when that could mean death or worse. What should embarrassment mean to her, anyway? She had enough professional reputation to spare a few blushes.

She threw on the biohazard clothes (god she hated the shuffly shoes) as the doors swished open.

The sight that greeted her was frankly hilarious. Darcy Lewis was sat on a lab bench, doing something on her phone, with the Pikachu asleep in her lap. Thor and Jane were sat on stools either side of her. Jane looked wistful, and Thor looked incredibly irritated.

That latter fact probably explained why there was a gaggle of techies clustered half a lab bench away, positively twitching with eagerness but not daring to take a step further.

Thor spotted her. He rose to his feet. "Agent Romanov! I must protest this treatment!"

All the techies flinched, and the Pikachu cracked open one eye.

She shrugged. "Identifying potential threats. I'm sure you can appreciate the delicate situation."

Thor scowled. "It is no threat to you. I have tried to tell your ... scientists ... this." He cast them a look of disgust. Several of them looked like they wanted to cry.

"Yeah, you did, big guy, but scientists don't understand you when you speak about it in magical terms," Darcy said, in a voice that suggested this wasn't the first time she'd pointed this out.

Thor's scowl deepened. "There are no better words for it. Your Midgardian terms are primitive."

Ok. Pissed ambassador-prince from another world pointing out the primitiveness of Earth's culture. Definitely a time to step in and smooth things over.

"Could you and Jane figure out how to put the infection situation in terms we would understand?" she asked.

"Why me?" Jane asked, wide-eyed. "I'm an astrophysicist, not a biologist!" Natasha raised her eyebrows at her.

"Are you the person with the most exposure to Thor and Asgardian culture?"

"Well, yes ..."

 Natasha turned on her phone and found the report she had been reading while Pepper and Tony talked. She held the phone out, waiting patiently for Jane to stand up and take it. "This covers the basics: what is a zoonosis, the known history of human-animal interaction and methods of zoonotic transmission. If I can follow it, you can." She gave Jane a small, encouraging smile. Jane stared at her in return (Natasha was impressed; most people trusted her immediately) before pulling a face and getting up to take the phone.

"I'll try," she said. Natasha smiled a little more widely.

"That'll do fine. Now then, I believe I have yet to be introduced to our new arrival?"

The three of them looked taken aback. A scientist hissed something. She ignored them all and boosted herself up to sit on the high bench next to Darcy.

"May I?"

Darcy leaned backwards on her hands. "Be my guest." She made a few smooching sounds, and the Pikachu's ears rose.

Natasha reached out and rested her hand palm-up on Darcy's knee. The Pikachu's eyes and ears turned towards it.

Natasha had never had a pet. But she and a few of the other girls, when they were young enough that the lethal competitiveness hadn't fully set in, had regularly attracted birds to their windowsills with crumbs. It became a game (ok, ok, fine, it became a competition) as to who could keep their bird there the longest. Or entice it inside. Or get it to sit on them.

For a long second she was back there, with bird claws tickling her hair, bursting with pride in herself and love for the little fluttery thing.

She pursed her lips and tried to copy Darcy's smoochy noise. It didn't work. Fuck it. Silence had always been her thing. She wiggled the fingers of one hand slightly. The Pikachu cocked its head.

Fucking decon. She must stink of chemicals. Decision time: she trusted Thor. She stripped off the horrible papery clothes and rubbed her hands firmly in her armpits and behind her ears to try and get them smelling like a person again.

"Agent Romanov, you're - "

"I'm aware of the risk," she replied in the loudest voice she dared. She put her hand back on Darcy's knee and wiggled her fingers again. The Pikachu got up and took the two steps forwards necessary to enable it to press its nose briefly against the fleshy base of her thumb.

Something hot and fierce welled up in her chest and she clamped down on it only with difficulty, dipping back into sense-memory where her child-self had scared her first bird away by trying to hug it.

"Pika." It nosed her again, licked her, and then curled up in its new area of Darcy's lap. Natasha let out a cracked laugh. Yeah, that was about right. _Ok, you're safe, I'm safe, I'm going to go to sleep now_.

Darcy shoulder-bumping her jolted her out of her morass of fuzzy feelings. Natasha glared at Darcy, but she seemed unperturbed. Her grin grew wider, in fact. "She likes you!"

"She?"

Darcy groaned so loudly that the Pikachu got up, glared at her and started furiously grooming itself. "Tail notch. Males don't have them. You people." She pointed to the tail.

" _Ka_." The Pikachu whipped its tail out of the way. Its cheeks sparked. Everybody froze for the several long moments it took for the Pikachu to decide the irritation had gone and to settle down again.

An idea hit Natasha. Maybe she could entice the Pikachu onto her, now? She stretched out her hand again, and when the Pikachu looked at it she made eye contact with it. With her.

The Pikachu cocked its head again. She jerked hers back in an automatic bit of body language for "come over here, already!" Before she had time to finish laughing at herself for trying human gestures on an alien animal, the Pikachu had stood up, walked over her hand and scampered up her arm. It draped itself over her shoulder, hindpaws braced against her deltoid. She hadn't realised that it had whiskers, too short and blonde to be seen, but they were currently tickling her cheek.

Then Darcy went nuclear. "I told you! I told you!" She jumped off the bench and started bouncing from foot to foot. "She's been trained! Look at that! She's had a trainer!"

"Darcy - "

"Jane, seriously, this is important! It means it's not just, like, a world of Pikachu! It's _all the same_!"

"You're not making any sen- "

"Pikachu, use Thundershock!"

If Natasha had thought the entire room had frozen before, she had been wrong. Every single person stopped breathing as the Pikachu on her shoulder perked up, shifted its weight and jumped into the air with a loud,

"Pika _chu_!"

What looked and sounded like a small yellow firework crossed with a sparkler detonated next to Natasha's ear. Instinctively she ducked away from it, bringing one hand up to cup her ear protectively. The thought, At least I know ASL, crossed her mind.

A heavy hand landed on her shoulder, and by the time she registered who it was she had already grabbed said hand and tried to bend it backwards. Her failure to do so was her first clue that it was Thor.

"Sorry." She got to her feet without his help and brushed herself down.

"Are you well?" He towered over her. It made her skin crawl. Fucking hyperaware adrenalin spike.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She turned to Darcy, who immediately blushed and gabbled out,

"I'm so sorry!"

Natasha tipped her head in acknowledgement. "Well, if you're happy you've proven your little hypothesis, we can agree that the next person to try that will suffer the consequences."

Darcy nodded vigorously. Amusingly, so did three of the techies.

Natasha had no idea what the consequences would be, but she'd think of something.

"It was nice to meet you, Pikachu," she told it. It looked up at her from the floor and chirped,

"Pika!" very happily.

 

Fury found her curled up in an uncomfortable plastic chair in the darkest corner of the lab foyer, reading about the behaviour and social habits of rodents.

"Thought you were going to see Stark?"

She shook her head. "Found a better use of my time."

He chuckled. "I can think of endless uses of my time that are better than seeing Stark. Ears ok?"

She just about managed to catch herself before any twitch of surprise gave her away.

"Yes, sir." The left was one a bit sore if she put pressure on it, but she could deal with it.

"Good." He left.

Yes, there were better ways to spend her time. Fuck finding out about video games, and EV training, and endless Yahoo Answers entitled: guyz how dafuq do i evolve inkay k thanx. She'd deal with this in her own way.

... Damn the manipulative bastard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, who knows the significance of 093098? Who knows how to evolve Inkay? Who now wants to hug Natasha?
> 
> I like feedback <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Clint get to the Tower. Thor and Jane argue about DNA.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait! I was away last weekend and then this week's been busy. XD just to warn you, this is me falling behind with shit I've ALREADY WRITTEN; do not expect faster than monthly at best once I start needing to write again.
> 
> An FYI that I think I forgot to give earlier: this is post-Avengers but not by that much. Nothing it in contradicts any of the post-Avengers films yet, but as of Cap II it'll probably become non-canon compliant.

A knock on Steve's door made him jump. He put the DS carefully aside and went to the door. He put his eye to the peephole. Clint waved at him.

"Hi, how's it going?" came through the door, at a volume that would have been 'faintly for anyone else. Steve couldn't work out if that was a generic greeting or an actual question, but he opened the door anyway.

"Tashsa's sneaking us into the tower, c'mon." Clint was rocking on the balls of his feet with excitement.

"What, now?"

"No, tomorrow, obviously. Come on already!"

Despite himself, Steve looked over his shoulder to where the DS sat open on his bed. Clint followed his gaze.

"Hey, excellent. Bring it with you, that's cool by me. Now you get all the fuss, right?"

Steve hesitated. "Maybe?"

Clint shook his head in exaggerated hopelessness. "What's your starter?"

"The alligator one. He's called Toothy."

"That is ... not the worst nickname I've ever heard. How far through are you?"

"How far through?"

"How many gym badges have you got?"

"Uh ... four, I think? I've caught loads of Pokemon, though." He couldn't help but grin. Clint clapped him on the shoulder.

"You've got the bug. I take all the credit, thank you, thank you. Now, let's get a move on! Pack!" He made shooing motions with his hands.

Shaking his head at the weirdness of this whole situation, Steve went into his room and scooped up his DS.

"Pack?"

"Yeah, the tower's on quarantine until Fury's happy none of them are going to develop anything nasty from the Pikachu. Probably two, three more days, Tasha reckons. Apparently they're spending half their time trying to take samples of it without getting bitten or shocked. SHIELD are allowed in, but pack for a week at least. I don't trust scientists."

"Ok." Steve hunted down a bag and started folding T-shirts. "You know, I still don't kow what a Pikachu is," he ventured after three T-shirts. Clint swore colourfully.

"If only I had LeafGreen. Got Sapphire, but that really won't help. I'll show you a picture once we're on the way, ok? I know the pilot Tasha's roped into this; he has an iPad we can borrow."

"Right." Steve folded the last T-shirt, then grabbed a double handful of socks and underwear and stuffed them in too. He slipped his DS in at the top of the bag. "Let me just go and get my toothbrush and stuff."

"So hygienic," Clint called after him mockingly.

"If you didn't pack them, I'll be staying well away from you three days from now," Steve called back.

 

"So, this is a Pikachu."

Steve blinked at the screen Clint had unceremoniously shoved under his nose. The figure on the screen came into focus, and he studied it.

"Looks cute. Could they have made it any more obvious that it's an Electric type?"

Clint shrugged. "Yeah, that's a thing. Here - " He took the iPad back and poked at it industriously. "This is Jolteon, and Zapdos, and Electabuzz, see the yellow and spiky theme they've got going on. Then you have the real weird ones: this is Voltorb and Magnemite."

"Yeah, I've seen those ones. Magnetmite's half Steel, though?"

"Not originally." Clint started telling him about Steel and Dark's introductions in Gen II, which somehow morphed into a long rant about the Fairy-type in the most recent game, which led to Steve asking about Dragon Pokemon. More screen-poking followed, producing more strange new pictures for Steve to try and assimilate.

He was almost glad when they arrived on the top of Stark Tower, and a nervous young man handed Clint two folded biohazard uniforms.

"Disguises? Really?" Steve said. Clint flipped him the finger and pulled the suit on over his normal clothes.

"It's fun." 

"Don't worry, poor little sniper just likes to pretend he's doing undercover missions." Natasha's voice made them both jump and spin around. She smirked at them. She wasn't wearing biohazard clothes, or, as Steve had half-expected her to be, her black onepiece. Instead she was dressed like a businesswoman, in a tailored dark grey skirt and jacket with an incongrously flashy scarlet blouse. Her shoes were black, shiny, pointy, and so high-heeled that Steve's calves cramped up at the mere image.

(He'd ocassionally been bribed, blackmailed or dared into the USO girls' shoes, ok? He knew enough about high heels to know that he never wanted them on his feet ever again.)

"Fuck you, Tasha. Get back to me when you can hit a leaf at two hundred feet."

Steve opened his mouth to greet her then realised to his horror that he wasn't sure what to call her. Calling her Tasha to her face felt grossly intimate all of a sudden, Natasha felt weird and unnatural, while Agent Romanov felt too standoffish. Widow was a possibility, but one of the things he'd learnt during the war was the importance of separating fighting situations from everything else. It was one of the reason he liked the code-name thing, cheesy though it was.

"So ... Pokemon?" That worked; look at her, catch her eye, avoid all names all-together.

"Apparently. Has Clint filled you in?"

"A bit."

"Did you go and find Stark? Did he give you Gen I? I bet he did."

"No, I didn't go and find Stark. I went off and did my own research, like a proper agent." She glared at Clint, who laughed at her.

"I don't _need_ to do research."

"That's just you being cocky." She tossed her head in a strangely feminine movement, and it suddenly clicked for Steve that she and Clint were putting their current behaviours on for his sake. Or maybe not Clint, since he didn't seem any different than before? But maybe he'd been acting all along?

No, Steve, paranoia lay down that route. Natasha is acting odd. Find out why.

"Everything ok in there?" That was smooth, Steve. Not. Now you sound like a nagging maiden aunt.

She smiled at him like she could read his mind, then pulled a wry face. "Stark hasn't been seen nor heard for about five hours now and Thor and Fury are competing for most likely to burst a blood vessel, so life's a _little_ tense, but nobody's died or otherwise gone down with anything suspicious yet, if that was what you meant."

"No, I ..." He caught the pile of clothes Clint threw him and started unfolding them just for something to do with his hands. "Why are Fury and Thor pissed at each other?"

"Because Thor thinks these precautions are bullshit, and he's insulted that Fury isn't taking him at his word."

Steve winced. Great move, Fury. Insult the warrior from an honour-bound culture. All the same ...

"I can see the director's point, though," he mused. Natasha's amiable mask slipped into a look of surprise, and Steve felt momentarily pleased with himself. "Fury needs to be sure. Midgardians aren't Asgardians, after all."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Last time I heard, that was Thor's point too. Something to do with transmission routes - I'm not a scientist, and anyway it took Jane and Thor three hours just to figure out that they were both talking about what we know as DNA. Don't ask what Thor knows it as, it's unpronounceable and there's some shit about lifeforce involved. And trees. And giants, for some reason. It's pretty funny watching the two of them stand there and say exactly the same things at each other more and more loudly."

"Who, Thor and Jane, or Thor and Fury?"

She made a funny little strangled sound that Steve immediately recognised from their earlier phonecall. "Now that you mention it, both of them." She turned and started walking back to the elevator. Clint fell into step beside her and started nagging her about playing the video game. Before Steve had time to blink, they were several feet away and he had to take two or three jogging strides to draw level.

"So, you've managed to collect all the gang yet?" Clint asked her when they were six floors down. There, Steve could pinpoint it; that tone was fake. Clint wasn't asking what it sounded like he was asking, he was sure of it. Well, he might be, but he was also asking something else that Steve just couldn't figure out. Damn spies and their weird secret language.

Natasha grinned. "I was just getting to that. It's one of the reasons Fury's taking anti-acids like candy. Stark's got hold of Banner."

Clint gave a long, low whistle that sounded half like the beginning of a song.

"Yeah. And apparently, he's a massive fan, like you and Stark - "

"I repeat, Stark is so a Gen Wun-er," Clint said in a mumble so low it might not even have been meant as an interruption at all.

"- so he thought he'd pop by. Scared a few of the agents sent to escort him inside."

Steve could see that. He had been wary of Dr Banner when all he had done was read his file. Meeting the man had alleviated his concerns of an immediate security risk, at first, but then Loki's staff had fucked with all their heads and he'd never forget Banner standing there with his hand on the staff, silhouetted black and empty against the blue sky as he berated Fury for dragging him into this mess in the first place. For dragging them all into it. Eyes green-tinted, body tense.

Steve'd fought alongside the Hulk, the other guy, given him orders, watched him save Tony Stark's life, yes, but he'd also seen him chase the Widow through the helicarrier, destroying it in his wake, and face a hail of bullets from a plane like they were less than bee-stings.

So he could understand SHIELD agents who might even have been on the helicarrier that day feeling a little wary. On the other hand, he understood a little bit of how Banner must have felt, plucked from his life and thrown into the middle of SHIELD's almighty fuck-up to try and save the world.

"He came in? Voluntarily?" He thought again of that "time-bomb" comment.

"Yeah, though he laughed when they told him about the infection risk. Some of them were more scared by the laughter, apparently."

Steve hadn't thought about that. "Does that mean I'm safe, too?"

Natasha shrugged."Maybe?"

They rode the rest of the way down in contemplative silence. Well, for Steve it was contemplative. Natasha had taken an iPad from her jacket pocket and was reading from it, and Clint had sat down in a corner and shut his eyes. Steve recognised that, a soldier's ability to sleep whenever and wherever there was a momet's peace, he was just surprised that Clint was tired. Maybe he was just taking the time to daydream about Pokemon. That seemed like a more logical assumption.

The elevator suddenly slowed. Natashsa's iPad disappeared in a blink and from God only knew where, she pulled out a knife. Clint reacted almost as quickly; he didn't stand up, but his feet were braced hard against the floor and he had found a few sharp pencils in the pockets of his biohazard clothes. The elevator car slowed more, then slid to a slightly unsteady halt. Thoroughly unnerved by the agents' reactions, Steve too braced himself and clenched his fists.

The door slid open. The three of them tensed.

"Hey, the gang's all here again!" Tony Stark would never know how close he came to death in three different ways at once. Steve relaxed and stepped out the elevator first. He tensed up very slightly again when he realised just how many people were crowded into the corridor. Stark, Thor and Banner, along with two women he'd never seen before. One of whom was looking him up and down with clear interest.

He looked over his shoulder (for back-up, his mind belated told him mockingly) and didn't feel any better when he saw naked confusion flit over Natasha's mild expression.

"What's with the crowd?" he asked, leaning against the wall just for the feeling of something at his back.

"Thor's getting stir-crazy. I've finished building a Pokedex. Basically we're blowing this joint for some fun stuff and these guys are tagging along. Wanna come?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who commented! I should hide more easy Pokemon geek shit in here. Taking note.
> 
> HERE COMES THE POKEMON WORLD!
> 
> I have lots of ideas for this, and the characters keep making shit up as I write them, but please do keep dropping me team ideas, plot ideas, whatever you fancy seeing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive in Celadon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so we're very near the end of the pre-written stuff, and I think you can see from this chapter that my ability to write was fading fast. Hope you still enjoy some of it.

They landed in Celadon. Bruce would rather not relive the journey there. Not because the actual Bifrost travel was difficult, no. It had been quick, and well, if he felt a little bit like a stick of gum sent through a centrifuge, that would wear off (He'd just mentioned it to Darcy, who had made a brief, green-faced reference to Side-Along-Apparation).

No, he would really, really rather not think about the _three hours_ that Darcy, Tony and Clint had spent arguing over where they should go first. Clint had put his vote in for his first region; Hoenn. That had been quickly shut down (for a given value of quickly), though Darcy had gone momentarily gooey-eyed at the thought of Slateport's beaches. Then the real fight had begun: Tony and Kanto vs. Darcy and Kalos.

Clint (after he'd finished howling "I KNEW IT!" at Tony) and Bruce had both sided with Tony on the Kanto side of things, since neither of them had got round to buying Gen VI, or, in Bruce's case, been able to afford it. Still, Darcy was very stubborn, and her examples, metaphors and tangents could rival Tony's. _Had_ rivalled Tony's, for far, far too long.

Bruce had agreed with Steve's muttered comment: Johto. You got two regions for the Bifrost-expenditure of one. Tony had immediately pointed out that how was starting in Kanto and travelling to Johto different than the vice-versa they were proposing, exactly? We aren't playing the games now, guys! We're going to be living them!

Now, at that point in the argument Bruce was still a little skeptical about the whole thing. The Pikachu didn't strike him as cast-iron proof of a Pokemon world. Was it even a Pikachu? He'd watched enough Doctor Who to know that what might look like a storybook creature generally turned out to be a dangerous alien. (He'd mentioned this to Darcy, too, and she'd gone off on a rant about a world full of Pikachu and how the creature's recently discovered propensity for sitting on shoulders refuted that hypothesis. Then Jane had pointed out that the Pikachu _was_ an alien. So was Thor. Hell, once (if) they landed in Kanto, _they_ would be considered aliens).

He couldn't help but feel the lurch of excited adrenalin in his gut when Tony had said that, though, which had made him reassess the situation. Maybe he was just being pessimistic: what he called "I don't get what I want" and Tony had recently taken to calling "Bruce can't have nice things" (Darcy had screeched something like 'tumbler' at him and they'd argued some more). Maybe he wasn't willing to admit that it was looking more likely with every stray spark from the Pikachu's cheeks because he desperately didn't want to be disappointed.

But they were here now.

He wasn't disappointed.

He'd forgotten how to speak. Astonishingly, so had Tony. Thor seemed amused, Jane looked fascinated, and Steve and Natasha looked wary. Bruce joined Clint, Tony and Darcy in a defensive back-to-back huddle, from which they stared with open mouths and translated what they saw into 2D bytes and back again with soft sounds of wonder.

They had landed in front of the Pokemon Center, of _course_. To their right towered apartment blocks and a little further down the wide, clean street, the looming mass of Celadon Department store squatted at the side of the massive market square. Almost directly in front of them were the brash lights of the Game Corner.

"Oh, fuck," Tony murmured.

"If I'm hallucinating, whoever breaks this illusion will die," Clint whispered to the world at large.

"I want to go _everywhere_ ," Darcy whimpered. Bruce nodded in terrified agreement. The sight of the Game Corner in particular was making his fingers itch, but, as with all things, that which he most wanted he must never have. Addiction in the family history and his unrivaled temper issues, yeah, gambling wasn't sensible. It was an undeniable waste of ... shit!

"Guys! Money. We have no valid currency!"

Tony and Clint's face crumpled.

Thor shrugged. "I have come prepared to hunt."

"Hunt? No way, big guy, we are _not_ killing any Pokemon! Ew, the thought is just disgusting!" Darcy did look utterly horrified; her eyes huge in her white face.

"SlowPokeTails, just sayin'" Clint muttered. Darcy glared daggers at him. "We could steal some," he suggested, in that slow tone of voice that meant 'somebody please tell me this is a bad idea'.

"There _is_ a shopping mall just over there," Natasha mused.

And that is why those two are a bad combination for everyone around them, Bruce thought to himself.

"No." Unsurprisingly, that was Steve. "C'mon guys, how do people usually make money in these ga -places?"

"Gambling," Bruce volunteered, then kicked himself. Think of something else, Banner. You're in _Kanto_. The local casino really shouldn't be your focus here. He stared at the Pikachu sitting on Thor's shoulder. It looked happy. Oh, to be that carefree.

"Having a job?" Jane suggested. Her voice held an edge of steel.

In unison, Tony and Clint looked at each other, yelled "EEVEE!" and took off at a run. Darcy swore at the top of her voice and dashed after them. Bruce shrugged. He really wanted to chase after them too, but they had a head start and Clint was a faster runner than him. Plus there was only one Eevee up there. Let the three of them duke it out. His bet was on Darcy.

He turned to the bewildered non-gamers. Except apparently Steve had been doing his research;

"Eevee's a Pokemon, right? I just picked one up in my game."

Bruce nodded. "Pokemon battling is pretty much the only way we know to get money. Except you can't catch Pokemon without Pokeballs, and you can't buy Pokeballs without money. We've picked up one Pokemon for free," he nodded to the Pikachu, which was watching him intently for some reason, "and they've gone to pick up the only other free Pokemon we're likely to get around here."

"So, we're going to battle other people's Pokemon with Pikachu and this Eevee Pokemon?" Jane asked. "And if we win, we get money?"

Bruce winced. That reminded him of the downside of this plan. "Yeah, but, certainly in-game, if we lose, they take half our money. So we need to be pretty confident we're going to win more than we're going to lose."

Steve nodded. "We've got to train them."

Jane frowned. "Darcy said this Pikachu was already trained. It ... did something. It gave off a big electrical charge when she said something to it."

Bruce considered the Pikachu carefully. Then his surroundings. Then he pointed to a large, robust tree and said, "Pikachu, Thundershock!"

The Pikachu glowed and sparked and cried out, and a sizzling yellow bolt of electricity zapped the tree branch.

Suppressing his urge to wail that _none of this obeyed physics_ , Bruce continued, "Use Thunderbolt."

"Piiiiiiiiiiiii _ka!_ " The snap-bang made them all wince and the light momentarily blinded them. Once Bruce had recovered his vision, he looked with satisfaction at the blackened tree branch.

"Yeah, I think you'll do," he told the Pikachu.

 

"So, we have a Pikachu that's at least level 29, probably higher, and an Eevee that's level, what, 25?" Bruce looked across at Tony for confirmation. Tony nodded, and winced as the movement aggravated his swollen cheek.

"Don't know why we were all excited about the Eevee anyway," he mumbled, shooting Clint a filthy look. "It's shit until it evolves. And it's a pet! What does it know about battles?"

Clint smirked at Tony and stroked the Eevee in his arms. It licked his hand. "It's tame and at least a little bit trained. It'll shape up pretty quick. You're just jealous because you're too out of shape to run up a couple of flights of stairs."

"A couple?!" Darcy repeated disbelievingly, raising her voice to be heard over Tony's indignant reply. "I was not built for that shit." She shook her head and turned to Bruce. "Do you any have any idea what sort of level above 29 the Pikachu might be?"

Bruce shrugged. "I didn't check for Thunder."

"We've probably have been arrested if you had," Natasha said. Bruce gaped at her. "Has no-one else noticed that we're being observed?"

"I did." Steve pulled a face.

"Aye." Thor nodded. "Tis unsurprising, as the Bifrost is a strange way to travel."

Bruce's blood ran cold. He hated being watched. He should have been so much more cautious. Hell, they all should have. They'd all got so caught up in the excitement of a video game come to life that they'd forgotten, or had never properly processed in the first place, that they were entering a real world, with real people and all the problems that the real world liked to provide.

Tony shrugged. "They'll have just assumed we Teleported here, it's fine."

"With that," Clint pointed to the Pikachu asleep on Thor's head, "or with this?" He nodded to the bright-eyed Eevee in the crook of his arm.

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Robin Hood," Tony muttered back. Darcy broke into a ferocious 'coughing' fit.

Bruce half wanted to laugh too and half to despair at the three of them ever taking anything seriously.

"Why do you think we're being watched?" he asked Natasha. She gave him a look that made him feel about an inch tall and replied,

"We're a new, loud, reasonably large group with two physically intimidating members, plus Clint who moves like a soldier if he's not concentrating on it. I think the only  reason we've not been pulled aside for a quick chat by someone is because our Pokemon look so cutesy."

There was a moment's silence while Bruce digested this. Steve and Thor were nodding in agreement, and Clint was checking out his surroundings so subtly that if Bruce hadn't been concentrating he wouldn't even have seen his eyes move.

Jane and Darcy had more or less matching expressions on their faces; they looked terrified and determined in equal measures, topped up with a little bravado in Darcy's case. Bruce caught Thor's eye and nodded towards them. Mouthing his thanks, Thor moved between them and wrapped one arm securely around each of them.

"Yeah, I agree with Tasha." Clint lifted the Eevee and put it on his shoulder. "Couple of people at every window; on the potential trouble side I count two policewomen, three Bikers with the usual CueBall hangers-on, and someone who I suspect might be a Rocket. Might be wishful thinking on my part there, though. Normally I'd say we should split up, but we don't have enough Pokemon to split permanently."

"We could split into two groups," Steve pointed out. Clint shook his head.

"Nah. Stark's right, this Eevee isn't going to be much good at serious battling for a while." The Eevee in question nibbled Clint's ear.

"We should leave, then," Tony said, so lightly that Bruce could do nothing but stare at him. Shocked silence fell. "No, idiots, I didn't mean leave Kanto. I meant leave Celadon. That way." He jerked his head to the right.

Bruce was impressed. Spacial awareness was obviously Tony's thing, duh, engineer, mechanic and general lover of sticking stuff together to make new stuff. Personally, Bruce was finding it tricky to transition from a 2D bird's eye view to ... well ... the real thing. Intellectually he knew it wasn't that different from looking at a map compared to looking at the real thing, but this _was_ different somehow. The comparison didn't quite match up; it was like ... he had looked at a map of a place for several hours at a time, over a period of several years. He knew this map inside out and back to front. But, maybe this was it, he didn't know it as 'these boxes stand for these buildings' he knew it as 'these boxes _are_ these buildings'.

"We can train just outside there," Darcy piped up. "Growlithes and Vulpixes, I think?" She looked to Tony for confirmation. Instead of tilting his head and thinking, or even just rattling off an answer, Tony grinned and reached into his coat pocket.

"I haven't shown this to you guys yet, have I?" From his pocket, he pulled a ... well, there were no two ways about it. It was a Pokedex. In red and gold.

"Titanium and gold alloy?" he asked with a chuckle. Tony pointed the device at Bruce.

"Ten points to Gryffindor! Knew you were my favourite for a reason."

"That's what I think it is," Darcy said excitedly. It was a flat statement, despite being phrased as a question.

"Technically, no." Tony's grin got wider. "It's not a Pokedex. Or, not just a Pokedex." He pressed a few buttons. "JARVIS, tell us about the route connecting Saffron and Celadon?"

Bruce's jaw dropped. "Tony, what the fuck? We're not even in our world anymore ... how is that happening? When did you even find the time to make this?" Tony's incredibly smug, pleased expression clearly annoyed Natasha;

"Couldn't leave home without your virtual butler, Stark?" she teased. Tony sighed.

"Well, if you don't want to know anything useful, you don't need to listen, do you? For the record, Bruce, bits of it have been a pet project for a couple of years; I just went and put the finishing touches when that sparky rodent gatecrashed Earth."

Natasha shrugged off Tony's studied dismissal, but stayed silent as he held the device out to them.

A tiny map appeared onscreen. 

"Route 7 is a route in central Kanto, connecting Celadon City and Saffron City. The western end of the Underground Path is located on this route," JARVIS reported.

"That's from Bulbepedia!" Natasha and Darcy protested in unison.

"A guy's got to get his information from _somewhere_ ," Tony said testily. "Skip to the Pokemon we might encounter. Levels, species, rarity."

"You will encounter Pokemon between levels 17 and 22, sir. In order of rarity, the Pokemon dwelling in the area are: Meowth, Pidgey, Oddish and Bellsprout, Vulpix and Growlithe."

"No such thing as version-specific," Bruce muttered to himself.

"I want a Vulpix!" Darcy took and running jump and grabbed the Pikachu off Thor's head. "Catch you guys later!" She dashed off. Bruce stared after her in a bemused silence that he shared with the rest of the group. Even the Pikachu draped over her shoulder looked bemused.

"So, when do you reckon she'll remember we don't have any Pokeballs?" Clint asked at last. Bruce made an amused noise.

"Who knows, she might find one lying around," he pointed out.

"Should we go after her?" Jane asked anxiously.

"I doubt anything would dare harm her," Thor said with a chuckle, but he began to walk in the direction Darcy had headed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week is going to be incredibly busy, and I'm writing 11,000 words of academic essays for my Camp Nano, so don't expect a quick update. Unless I get lots of reviews, ofc. There will be a positive correlation between number of comments and speed of writing, just saying.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Argh, and here we come to the end of the pre-written stuff. This chapter is ugh, I don't like it. But stuff happens! :D
> 
> Also this does not comply with Captain America 2. Which I saw last night *flails*

It didn't take them long to find Darcy. They had only spent five minutes walking down the broad concrete path when Clint spotted her. She was up on a high ridge to their left, crouched down in the long grass.

"What's she doing?" Jane squinted her eyes.

"Talking to the Pikachu," Clint answered in a distracted voice, concentrating hard. "The Pikachu is talking to an Oddish."

"Talking to." Tony scoffed.

"Communicating with, then, douchebag. Oh, she's waving at us."

"And shouting," Steve said, tilting his head and pushing forwards to the front of the group. "Come over here already, you slowpokes!" He frowned. "Slowpoke's a Pokemon, right?"

Tony clapped him hard on the shoulder. "Pre- _cisely_ , Captain.I am so impressed."

"Douchebag," Bruce echoed Clint, but made sure to catch Tony's eye and raise an eyebrow. Even for Tony, he was being sharp with everyone.

"This knowing superpowered people thing, it comes in handy, doesn't it?" Tony said amiably to Jane. She rolled her eyes at the blatant conversational redirect, but agreed.

"Not superhuman, Stark," Clint said testily.

"Almost," Tony said nonchalantly. "Even though you're petting that Eevee like a girl with her first kitten."

"You are in fine form today," Natashsa muttered, just loud enough for Bruce to catch it. Steve also heard, judging by his sudden cough.

When they had clambered up the steep verge (Jane and Tony both needed a hand up. No-one helped Tony) they were greeted by Darcy. Pikachu on her shoulder, yup, fine. Oddish held on her hip, made sense in context of what Clint had seen.

What didn't make a shred of sense was the mass of Meowths and Pidgeys gathered behind her.

"Uh, Darcy?" Jane pointed to the horde.

"You are a great friend to these creatures," Thor noted. Darcy grinned in response and handed Jane the Oddish.

"This is for you!" The Oddish waggled its feet and made an inquisitive noise. Jane took it uncertainly.

"Thanks. Is it a boy or a girl?"

Darcy frowned. "Dunno. Not good on the planty Pokes. Guys?"

Bruce looked at Clint, who shrugged and looked at Tony, who opened the Jarvisdex again (Yes, that was what Bruce was now calling it in his head).

"Its evolutions Gloom and Vileplume have gender differences; Oddish does not," Jarvis reported.

"Wonder how close it is to evolving?" Steve wondered.

"If it knows Mega Drain, very close indeed," Bruce said. Well, it had worked before; "Oddish, use Mega Drain!"

Despite being a bulb with eyes and legs, the Oddish managed to look confused.

"Well, that's that sorted then," Tony said, sounding disappointed.

"Nu-uh." Darcy looked gleeful. She wriggled her shoulder. "Go on, Pikachu."

The Pikachu ran down her shoulder and started to communicate animatedly with the Oddish.

"Hey!" Clint shouted in surprise as the Eevee sprang from his arms and joined in the conversation.

After about ten seconds of loud cries of "Veeee," and "Pika, pika-pi," and some interesting miming from the Pikachu, the Oddish shook its leaves. Decisively. Somehow. Despite being a bulb with legs.

You're thinking too much, Bruce scolded himself.

Pikachu went back to Thor and scampered agilely up his body, but Eevee sat at Clint's feet and made beseeching sounds until he scooped it up and stroked its ears.

The Oddish shook its leaves again, then let out a high-pitched sound, almost a shriek. A faint green light bloomed in the centre of its leaves. It grew brighter and larger, but just when Bruce was worrying exactly who the energy drain had been aimed at, the light winked out of existence and the Oddish fell over.

Pikachu and Eevee cried out in alarm, as did Jane, who beat Darcy to picking it up. It blinked dazedly at her.

"Is it ok?" She held it out to the Pokemon players of the group in turn, worry written large on her face.

"Probably," Clint said with a shrug. Bruce nodded. Tony tapped a few things into the Jarvisdex and frowned.

"Probably's the best I can do, too. Didn't have time to configure this to bioscan stuff  before we left."

Another moment passed where everyone in the group took a moment to work out that Tony was apolgising for not being able to make a machine that could do everything they might need it for, in another world, in the space of a few hours. Or at least, that was what Bruce was thinking, and extrapolating from the stunned look on Jane and Steve's faces.

"I'm sure we'll survive," Bruce said at last.

"It's got to be around level 19 or 20," Tony muttered.

"Guys!" Darcy's voice was playfully petulant. "You haven't asked me why the others!" She waved her hand behind her, to where most of the Pidgeys and Meowths were still gathered (A few could be seen wandering back off into the grass). There were four Pidgeys and three Meowths.

"Why the others?" Jane parroted with a smile. Darcy pulled a fond face at her before continuing;

"It's all Pikachu's doing. Unless I'm mistaken, and I don't think I am, she persuaded these Pokemon to let us train on them. That right?"

"Chu!" Pikachu bounced up and down on Thor's shoulder, then leapt off and landed opposite the seven Pokemon. It cheeks sparked. It looked over its shoulder and called out, "Pi!!"

Eevee wriggled out of Clint's arms again, and stood next to Pikachu.

"That Pikachu is way too autonomous for my liking," Tony remarked, in an almost awed voice. "Where did you get her from again, Thor?"

"Part payment of a life-debt," Thor said. When Tony raised an eyebrow and waved his hand to indicate 'keep going', Thor merely shifted his gaze to the Pokemon tableau in front of them. "She is indeed a mighty warrior."

"We should level-test her some more," Tony said, gaze intent. "Jarvis, when do Pikachus learn Thunder?"

Pikachu's ears pricked up.

" _No_." The intensity in Clint's voice shocked Bruce. "Seriously, Stark? You'd hit these little guys with _Thunder_?"

They looked at the Pidgeys. The Pidgeys looked at them.

"Rats with wings," Tony mumbled, but he took a small step back from the proceedings and didn't even make a comment when Jane lifted the Jarvisdex from his hands and began to examine it with great curiosity.

"Does that mean we could go and defeat people with Pikachu now?" Steve asked. Bruce shrugged.

"Technically, yeah. Well, that's assuming it's as high level as we think."

"It reacted to 'Thunder'," Darcy pointed out.

"Which is also the start to Thunder-shock and Thunder-bolt," Clint said. "Now, then. Let's get this party started. Eevee, use Quick Attack on _that_ Pidgey." He pointed to the furthest bird to the left. 

Eevee charged so quickly that it appeared blurred. It knocked the Pidgey over, bowling it head over tail until it landed in a ruffled heap a few feet away. However it immediately leapt to its feet, squawking indignantly, and ran at Eevee.

"Perfect; now use Bite!" As soon as the Pidgey was within in its reach, Eevee jumped and chomped down on its wing. The Pidgey made a horrible shrill sound and backed off as soon as Eevee loosened its grip. It fairly ran back into the long grass, out of sight. "One down!" Clint cheered. "Quick Attack that Meowth!"

Just like the Pidgey, the Meowth was bowled over. It got to its feet and hurled itself at Eevee, claws extended at the end of flailing paws.

"Use Bite again!" But this time, when Eevee closed in, it received four sharp claws across its muzzle.

"Veeeeee!" It turned and fled, leaping into Clint's arms in a single jump. It tried to bury its nose in the crook of Clint's arm, but recoiled and let out a confused whimper.

"Oh, you fucking idiot," Clint said to it in a soppy tone of voice Bruce had only ever heard used before by middle-aged woman confronted by kittens or babies. "Yes, you are."

"Let's see," Darcy demanded, crowding close. Bruce moved too, despite his certainty that lots of people would just scare the poor thing more. That seemed to be the signal; Jane pressed tight up against his shoulder and used her lack of height to tuck her head under his chin in order to see. Thor was apparently doing the opposite; he could faintly feel the beard brushing against his ear. Steve had his head hanging over Clint's shoulder and was making kissing noises at Eevee.

They had only a few seconds to anxiously stare at Eevee (the scratches were already clotting, it would be fine, Bruce was sure), before Tony flipped the mood completely:

"Company, guys!" His tone of voice broke the group apart like a small explosion: it was Iron Man speaking. As Bruce backed away, he saw that Natasha had pulled two knives from god knew where and was staring behind him.

He spun around and the sight that greeted him made his blood run cold; the grass in front of them was suddenly swarming with Pokemon, and most of them didn't look very happy.

"What the hell?" Steve said, in a voice that was strained through how much it wanted to be a shout.

Bruce was already very carefully backing away. They were just Pidgeys and Meowths - oh, and two Oddish and a Bellsprout ... wow, a Growlithe! He crammed his inner fanboy back down where it belonged, which, right now, was at the bottom of his mind, Yeah, so, they probably couldn't do too much damage (apart from possibly the Growlithe), but he'd much rather do a humiliating run back to Celadon than introduce this world to the other guy.

"Good idea." Clint's voice was so soft Bruce could barely catch it. "Everyone copy Bruce."

The group took one, two, three steps away.

Then the Meowth came running at them again (Fury Attack, Bruce noted ... fucking inner fanboy) and that broke the tense truce.

Bruce was nearly knocked to the floor as Steve and Thor barrrelled past him, but then they froze too.

The hairs rose on Bruce's neck. Quite involuntarily. He wasn't cold. He'd already got over the initial fright of seeing the irate Pokemon. Why did the air suddenly smell ... like ozone ... _shit_.

"Pikachu, come back!" he shouted, but his cries got tangled up in Steve's ridiculous but clearly automatic, "Stand down!". Steve shifted his weight and then Bruce could see through the gap this created; Pikachu was on all fours in front of Thor, tail straight up in the air. It was glowing bright yellow and giving off muted pops of voltage spikes. Underneath that, if he listened carefully, was something Bruce could only describe as growling.

The attacking Pokemon had frozen too. One by one, they all peeled away. Even the Growlithe, dammit. Finally the only Pokemon left in sight was the original Meowth. It yowled and charged at Pikachu -

\- who turned its back and hit the charging cat in the face with its tail with a dismissive " _Ka_."

Looking exhausted, unnerved, and unless Bruce was seeing things, also paralysed, the Meowth wobbled off into the grass.

"Pi- _ka-_ chu!" Pikachu discharged all its electrcity into the air above it, then scampered over to where Natasha stood guarding Jane and wound around the women's legs.

"Well." Tony, of course, was the first to break the silence. "That was interesting."

"We just got saved by a mouse," Darcy said, shaking her head.

"It was your fault," Tony muttered.

"Hey!" Darcy looked insulted, but she didn't even try for a reason why it wasn't her fault.

"That's what we get for letting a Pokemon make plans for us," Clint said with a shrug. "It's no-one's fault."

They stood and watched the Pikachu for a little while. It was still fussing round Jane. Only then did Bruce notice that she was white-faced.

"Are you ok?" Darcy blurted, having obviously just noticed as well. Bruce sensed Thor moving behind him.

"I'm fine." Her too-tight voice said otherwise. She crouched down and offered the  Pikachu her fingers to sniff. "Like this, Darce?" Pikachu licked them, then nuzzled her hand until it curved downwards, then hopped onto it and looked at her hopefully.

Darcy gave a muted cheer. "Aw, pick her up, Jane!"

Uncertainly, Jane put her other hand around Pikachu and lifted it. It cuddled up against her chest.

When Jane raised her eyes to look at them in bewilderment, Bruce realised with the bone-deep horror of all nerdy males in this situation: oh shit, she's crying. 

"I didn't think it liked me," she mumbled. Darcy and Thor converged on her like flies to honey. The Pikachu stayed where it was, looking weirdly contented despite being squished in a three-person hug.

Natasha moved to stand next to Clint. Bruce wondered if she had noticed that she was brushing herself off, as if rejecting even the sight of physical contact. She began to talk to Clint in short, angry whispers. Clint gave Eevee to Steve and turned to give her his full attention.

Feeling slightly left out, Bruce sidled up to Tony.

"So, how long have you been working on the Jarvisdex?"

Tony gave a short, startled laugh. "I like the name. It's nothing special, really. Just a collection of what data already exist. Chucked it together in two hours and most of that was making the casing. A highschooler could have done it."

Bruce scoffed. "I'm not talking about you using Bulbapedia and Serebii, for fucks sake, Tony, we're in _another world_ and Jarvis is still talking to us."

Tony's eyes lit up, but he smirked and merely said, "Oh yeah, that. Been working on that on and off since New York."

Bruce wondered if Tony realised his hand had strayed, just for a second, to his chest, where the arc reactor no longer rested.

Tics. Everyone had them. Little mental giveaways. He wondered what his were.

The cuddle bundle appeared to have made some sort of decision: Darcy was holding both Pikachu and Oddish.

"I shall take Jane back to Midgard, then return here," Thor announced.

"Are you coming back?" Darcy asked. Jane shrugged.

"Maybe. It's not really my thing. Take care of the little guy for me." She smiled and waved at the Oddish. It waved its leaves back at her.

 

Jane hadn't realised that they had been in the Pokemon world for less than two hours. It had felt like much longer than that.

She let the biologists poke her and exclaim gleefully. When she saw two astrobiologists and a prebiotic chemist who she had once got slightly tipsy with at a "Life on other planets," conference, she let them see and examine some pollen stuff caught in her hair from the Oddish. They scraped it onto a microscope slide and one of them went on a long ramble about how fantastic it would be to find glycolaldehyde. Whatever that was. Jane hadn't gone near the squishy side of science since she was an undergrad. So she nodded and smiled, and Thor, beside her, nodded and smiled, and opened his mouth to agree to blood and tissue samples before she elbowed him hard in the ribs. It hurt her elbow, but it got his attention.

"No?" he asked her quietly.

"No," she told him. "You're just a walking paper to them. Or even a newspaper article. No samples. Not of anything."

"Now, that's not very nice, Dr Foster."

Oh god, it was the boss guy again. "I'm not always nice," she mumbled.

"Neither are we." Shit, he'd heard her.

"Is that a threat, Director?" Thor straightened his shoulders and shifted his weight distribution and Jesus, it looked like he'd grown another two, three inches.

"You think I'd threaten your partner just for kicks?" the director countered in a heavily sarcastic voice. Thor deflated. Slightly.

"I had thought of you as a man of honour," he said slowly. The director snorted.

"That ship's long sailed." He presented them with clipboards. Jane had _deja vu_ so badly right now. "Write down everything you possibly can about where you went, what happened, and what it all looked like." He studied Jane. Even with one eye, it felt like he was reading her thoughts off the back of her head. "The others all ok?"

That annoyed her: "Oh, because we would have kept quiet about it until now if they weren't?"

He smirked at her. "More worried about the people around them, if I'm honest."

"When are you honest, Director?" Just for a second she wanted to apologise and take it back, but then his grin grew wider.

"More than you'd think."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much to everyone who's reviewing, especially mumismatist for their absolutely wonderful reviews <3 Sorry I haven't been replying; busy and also lazy. I'll start replying to you all, promise!
> 
> Like I said, I don't like this chapter, but if you do, please let me know! :D

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you thought! :D I appreciate all feedback.


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